Hey there, beautiful souls! It's Guruji Chastity here, and today I'm excited to share some transformative insights that have emerged from my recent experiences with seeking external validation. In this candid reflection, I'll dive deep into three powerful lessons that have reshaped my perspective and brought me closer to clarity and self-acceptance. So, grab your favorite cup of tea, cozy up, and let's explore together!
As I embarked on my journey of consistently posting content on YouTube after a seven-month hiatus, I found myself seeking validation from those around me, including my partner. However, a valuable lesson emerged from this experience – clarity in intentions. It became clear to me that seeking external validation often stems from a lack of clarity within ourselves. By acknowledging and celebrating our own achievements, we can bypass the need for validation from others and cultivate a deeper sense of self-worth.
The Art of Slowing Down
The hustle and bustle of daily life can often lead us to seek validation in haste, without taking the time to pause and reflect. Through my recent experiences, I've learned the importance of slowing down and checking in with myself before seeking external feedback. By embracing moments of stillness and mindfulness, I can tune into my inner wisdom and discern whether external validation aligns with my true desires and intentions. Although, it took me driving my emotions off a small cliff to discover this. The Western concept of needing to move on to the next thing, so that I can just get it over with is a limiting belief this experience allowed me to review and let go of. I used to move so fast that I missed the billboard displaying my intentions.
Seeking praise from my partner, looks like me speeding down the highway with the music blasting, subconsciously praying I don't get a ticket as I race to tell someone about what I've done. When what I really wanted was a solo car ride with a scenic view, as the wind gently grazed my scalp, as I glanced to the side to take in the view, proudly aware and basking in my success.
The first lesson that really sticks out is, “There always time to choose what feels good for me.”
Discernment in Feedback
While feedback from others can be valuable, it's essential to exercise discernment and consider the source. Not all feedback is created equal, and it's crucial to distinguish between constructive criticism and unfounded opinions. By recognizing my own worth and value, I began to confidently discern which feedback serves my growth and which I can gracefully release. This is an important leveling up in my journey because discovering this allowed me to anchor in the evidence I needed to validate my own experience. Up to this point of awareness I did not already possess enough self-confidence to not depend on my partner's opinion.
As a recovering people-pleaser it can sometimes be hard to not center my movement in the world based on someone else's ability to receive pleasure, and it's typically those closest to me. So it's a foreign and blossoming feeling to recognize my own authority and trust it.
My Ultimate Takeaway
Seeking external validation is a journey that often leads us back to ourselves. Through moments of discomfort and reflection, we gain invaluable insights into our deepest desires and insecurities. By embracing clarity, mindfulness, and discernment, we can navigate the waters of validation with grace and self-assurance. It's not comfortable but it's indeed fun for me, to be curious about my limits and find ways to move past them.
I've found ways to fail that feel like playing, so that my growth while it may seem like I'm drowning finishes looking like a fun day in the 3ft. So, my dear friends, I invite you to join me on this journey of self-discovery and self-love. Together, let's celebrate our inherent worth and embrace the beauty of our unique journeys.
Looking In The Same Direction
Are you ready to dive deeper into your journey of self-discovery and healing? Download my quick worksheet to carve out Core Values you want to discover. This is an activity that helped me develop a transformative path towards inner peace, clarity and empowerment. This heartfelt resource taps into your inner guidance, is a reflection exercise, and healing practice to support you on your journey. Click here to access your free worksheet and begin your journey of healing and self-love today.
Remember, you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are. Thank you for joining me on this journey, and until next time, I love you, peace out.
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