Do You Have A Mother Wound?

There’s a taboo feeling when talking about the Mother Wound. Motherhood is a coveted position, and it usually doesn’t go well when a daughter criticizes the experience she had of her Mother. Majority of women experience the root cause of the wound as a lack of emotional investment on the mother’s part. This concept lends itself to the old adage, “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” and in that namesake there are a lot of women who lack the ability to emotionally connect to themselves and others because of the disconnect between Mother and daughter. 

Adult women dealing with the symptoms of an unhealed Mother Wound often look into their life and are unable to trust their own inner voice, feel safe and secure inside their body and fail to maintain healthy boundaries. 

If this sounds familiar, keep reading to see if you have a Mother Wound.

What is a Mother Wound?

Your Mother Wound is the unhealed trauma you inherited from your Mother, who similarly inherited the unhealed trauma from her Mother (your Grandmother). Your Mother Wound is made of 50% of your Grandmother’s unhealed trauma and 50% of how that trauma impacted your Mother and how she engages with you.

What is a Generational Curse? 

A Generational Curse is an unhealed trauma pattern that began with one person. If it was not healed by that one person they then pass the trauma on to the next person in their bloodline. 

Once this process is done over the course of three generations without being healed a Generational Curse is created. 

Generational curses typically affect marginalized communities such as women of color, immigrants, and women in poverty as a result of the conditioning from society that causes them to deny their feelings out of survival, adhere to the pressure of being perfect or a need to appear strong. 

3 Signs You Have A Mother Wound

The word Mother Wound is an umbrella term to describe negative and adverse experiences you have as a result of an unhealthy relationship with your Mother. The experiences could show up as: 

• the inability to set boundaries
• insecurity about your physical appearance
• codependency in relationships
• inability to regulate your emotions or self-soothe in a healthy way
• fear of abandonment
• habitual self-judgment
• fear of displeasing your Mother 
• inability to trust yourself

As a Spiritual Success Coach, I specialize in supporting you to heal abandonment, body-image issues, and people-pleasing behavior as a result of your unhealed Mother Wound. Here’s how to get curious if these three specific aspects of the wound impact you. 

1. Abandonment is the inability to trust as a result of not being emotionally supported by your Mother. When you were a baby you adventured out into life and when you looked back you expected to see your Mother to provide a sense of security, to tell you everything was ok. Ideally, you’d venture out into the world, have some experiences and come home to tell mama. If your Mother was emotionally unavailable you went out into the cold world and came home to an even colder place, no one. 

This experience began to teach you that you were alone. You learned that it wasn’t safe to share your troubles because no one would care, just like your Mother. 

2. Body-image issues is the inability to feel safe and secure inside your body as a result of not being mentally supported by your Mother. Growing through puberty can be quite the rocky experience in peer to peer relationships alone, so adding in criticism about your body from your Mother can be taxing. Your Mother often criticizes your choice of clothing, your weight, your hairstyle, your choice in music, your preferences that make you uniquely you. 

This experience began to teach you that if only you looked like your Mother or adhered to her beauty standards everything would be ok.

3. People-pleasing behavior is the inability to set boundaries for fear of missing out on love as a result of not being Spiritually supported by your Mother. Self-worth comes from knowing your inherent value outside of your physical achievements. The ideal result is knowing there’s something more to life than what you accomplish. As the disconnect begins to build you begin to take what you can get from your Mother. As an adult you begin to model the same behavior accepting whatever you can get from people if it only briefly allows you to feel seen, heard and supported. 

This experience began to teach you that having boundaries and standards aren’t what you need because you never know when you’ll experience connection again so you’ll take what you can get. 

How do you get rid of a Mother Wound?

When a Mother Wound goes unhealed it perpetuates a society of women who lack the ability to see, hear and support the next generation, leaving them without the skills to be contributing members of society. You’d rather go to the doctor and be told you have cancer than to be in pain and never get help because you’re afraid. This is a tough wound, you have to look at, and stop hiding behind it simply because the pain is deep.

To heal yourself from the symptoms of a Mother Wound you must learn to trust yourself and your inner voice, come out of your head and into your body, and set boundaries that protect the most important person in your life, YOU.

What to know moving forward

As girls grow into womanhood the opinions their Mother’s speak verbally become the voice of reason for their daughters internally. 

So with an internal voice of reason shaped by the harshness of their Mother, girls will start to believe that it’s something they’ve specifically done to cause their Mother to not emotionally invest in them. Once this story is formed it is a snowball effect of negative thoughts, that are a journey to unravel. 

The truth of the matter is healing your Mother Wound has nothing to do with fixing your Mother and everything to do with appreciating you. Evolving your sense of self creates the space for you to trust your inner voice and intuition, feel safe and secure in your body, and set and maintain healthy boundaries.

Begin Your Healing

The journey to healing is your responsibility but you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to support you as you work to heal complex trauma such as abandonment, body-image issues and people-pleasing behavior as a result of your unhealed Mother Wound utilizing The A.I.M. Process. 

The A.I.M. Process is my proven 8 step process to take you from feeling worthless to worthy in 1:1 Coaching to help you Evolve Your Sense of Self in a 4 Month Program or 4 Day Intensive. 

You are ready now. 

Guruji Chastity

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