Breaking Free from Generational Chains
In a world where familial bonds are often revered as sacred, there comes a point in some individuals' lives where breaking away becomes not only necessary but paramount to their mental and emotional well-being. This is my story—a tale of emancipation, self-discovery, and the liberation found in setting boundaries with those closest to us. Join me as I delve into the intricacies of my journey of no contact with my mother and the profound lessons learned along the way.
Here are a few signs I recognized that signaled it was time to go no contact:
- Persistent feelings of emotional distress after interactions with my mother.
- Repeated instances of boundary violations and disrespect.
- Continued attempts to manipulate or control my life and choices.
- Unresolved conflicts and inability to establish healthy communication patterns.
- Lack of emotional support and validation from my mother, leading to feelings of neglect or abandonment.
According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, conflicts between mothers and daughters tend to be more frequent and intense compared to other family relationships. The study highlights the complex dynamics inherent in these relationships and the significant impact they can have on individuals' psychological well-being.
Unveiling the Layers: The Journey Begins
My purpose as a Spiritual Success Coach blossomed amidst the chaos of the pandemic. Like many others, I found solace in honing my craft and delving deeper into my spiritual journey. Little did I know that this period of introspection would ultimately lead me to confront one of the most challenging aspects of my life—my relationship with my mother. The time of uncertainty and reflection during the pandemic led me to ask myself, “should I cut off contact with my Mom?” the more I continued to struggle between the duality of the life I was creating for myself as Guruji Chastity and the story of me she’s sticking to.
The catalyst for my decision to go no contact stemmed from a series of conversations with my mother, each one leaving me feeling misunderstood and devalued. I was attempting to share with my Mother where I was in my journey as a Coach, and finally my decision to step away from social media as Guruji Chastity. It was a painful realization—one that struck at the core of my being. Creating Guruji Chastity forced me to rewrite the narrative of my life in a more positive way. Letting go of the way I expressed that aspect of myself felt like more of the same grief I felt as I released the expectations I had of my relationship with my Mother. As I grappled with the aftermath of these encounters, I began to question the dynamics of our relationship even deeper and whether it was conducive to my growth and well-being.
Feeling emancipated from the old story that said staying was more noble than honoring my own feelings, I took inventory of where I was emotionally and then took action. Now here comes the scary part, how do I tell my Mother I want to go no contact?
Setting Boundaries: Finding Liberation
It was in the midst of these turbulent emotions that I made the decision to assert my boundaries and reclaim my peace of mind. Through voice memos and careful deliberation, I communicated my feelings to my mother—a decision that would forever alter the course of our relationship.
I haven't always approached my needs in the relationship with my Mother delicately. In fact, I started from a very sarcastic and aggressive place and attempted to use the grooming techniques I was taught by my parents. This made it hard for me to be heard, even though my truth was valid and created an immense amount of space for us to grow as individuals. Overtime, I learned to speak with more intention and less pain but I wasn’t able to overcome those antiquated expressions of myself she once knew.
Due to our history, I chose to leave quietly. I finally realized there was nothing I could say or do in order for her to validate my experience. As I came face to face with her response or lack thereof, I finally had to accept where we were and not where I wanted us to be.
As I reflected on my journey to no contact, I came to understand the power of choice in shaping our destinies. My power wasn't in begging and pleasing for her to love me as I wanted to be loved but in accepting how she chooses to love and making the conscious choice to participate or not. While the decision was not without its challenges, it ultimately paved the way for a newfound sense of freedom and self-liberation.
The Healing Journey: Embracing Growth and Transformation
In the aftermath of my decision, I embarked on a journey of healing and self-discovery—a path fraught with challenges yet imbued with the promise of growth and transformation. Instead of continuing to act as if the current state of the relationship didn't pain me deeply, I felt the pain and did it anyway. Through introspection and self-reflection, I confronted the deep-seated emotional pain stemming from the disconnect between my mother and me. I started from my body and let the pain do the rest. I used the physical pain in my body to reflect back to me the limiting beliefs I had been holding. Overtime, I began to notice that I held a lot of self-defeating stories about myself in different parts of my body due to my experiences with my Mother.
Reminiscent of a knee jerk reaction from being startled or the initial clinch when you experience the first drop of a roller coaster. Although the fear of my Mother I experienced was long gone, my body never learned to relax. Going no contact allowed me to reconnect parts of my body that were creating illness and dis-ease as I clinched and held traumatic experiences.
Despite the trials and tribulations, I emerged from the experience with a newfound sense of empowerment and resilience. The journey to no contact with my mother taught me the importance of honoring my truth, even in the face of adversity. As I once thought it was easier to hurt my own feelings by not sharing my truth, than hurting hers by asking her to change.
Empowering Others to Embrace Their Truth
As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the transformative power of self-liberation and the importance of setting boundaries in pursuit of our highest good. My hope is that my story serves as a beacon of light for you as you navigate similar challenges, inspiring you to embrace your truth and embark on your own journey to healing and self-discovery.
This is not an advocacy or encouragement for you to go contact. This is a resource if you’re ready to take that step.
If you've been inspired by my story and are ready to embark on your journey of healing and self-discovery, I invite you to explore my Mother Wound Healing eGuide. This comprehensive resource offers invaluable insights and tools to help you navigate the complexities of the mother wound and reclaim your power. Remember, healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone.
Embark on Your Healing Journey
Have you ever found yourself struggling to maintain boundaries in your relationship with your mother? What steps have you taken to prioritize your own mental and emotional health in such situations? Share your wisdom in the comments.
⭐The Mother Wound eGuide⭐
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https://gurujichastity.com/b/DUOje
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